That's It?

  

Well, fuck me silly, that was easy. You know something? I've always thought that the more accessible something is, the less important it is. Yes, I'm looking at you, polio vaccine. Jonas Salk was nothing more than a chemical engineering pimp in a pink hat (Note to Jonas Salk's descendants: Sorry). More specifically though, I'm referring to this. This website, this page, this compendium, of sorts. Call it whatever you want, but DON'T! And i said DON'T call it a fucking bl*g. I hate that word. Anyways, back to my original point. This glob was way to easy to put together. Nothing should be this easy. Why should any moron with an internet connection be allowed to publish their work online, for the whole fucking world to see? Not even Jesus had this kind of outlet. Fuck that, I might as well say it: I'm officially bigger than Jesus. 

Even after months of deliberation and erratic thought, I still have no idea what I'm doing here, or what I plan to accomplish. I guess my reason for doing this is simply peer pressure. Yeah, well, that and an urge to slowly brainwash a large enough contingent so that I have an army of millions prepared to die for me. You know, like Oprah. Shit, why couldn't I just be a black chick? Oprah, Michelle Obama, Kanye. The list of influential black women is endless.

Now here's a matter of some concern, not that it seems to concern anybody else who keeps a webpage, but am I actually qualified enough to be keeping my own "glob"? Now, I'll concede that I'm nowhere near responsible enough, but that was never under debate. But, if there is one thing I'm qualified to do, it's to spew an unmitigated flow of completely unrelated and useless information in a manner most entertaining. What kind of information am I talking about? Well, I see no reason, and have no intention to limit it, but frequent topics that I might touch on would likely include:

Music; I could spend hours talking about any of the following, though

some (as we all know), more than others: The Beatles, Bruce, Dylan and

their contributions to music and society in general. Rock and Classic

Rock, likewise. I can cover soul music, some rap, and a decent amount

of classical music as well, as well as some music that's just straight

up weird.

Geopolitics: That's just a complicated way of saying that "I wanna

talk about what's going on in the world." There will likely be a focus

on the Middle East. And just so you know, I call it like it is, not how 

The Huffington Post says it is.

Baseball/Sports: clearly, I know a lot more about baseball than the

other sports, but I certainly know enough about it to write about the

goings on in the world of sports. I can cover deep analysis on baseball,

and the Yankees using sabermetrics and advanced statistics, and cover

the big interest stories in sports at large, ie, where's Carmelo going, who

tiger woods is nailing, and disgusting New Jersey slobs who vomit on 12

year old girls at Phillies games.

Current Events: all of us have always kept up to date, and relatively

aware of what's going on in the news. I don't want to turn this into a

political blog, but obviously, that's something that I'm capable of

writing about. Even when there's nothing going on, there's always

an mma fighter pulling out his friends still beating heart that we

could write aboot.

Opinion Pieces: this would cover critique of media, and just my

thoughts about certain issues be it political, legal or societal.

Something that I've burdened all of your ears with at one point or

another. It could be very serious, humorous, or, somehow,

both.

Photographs: Wait, what? It seems that in the 21 hours a day that

I'm awake, I've managed to amass a ton of images. Some of them are funny,

some are thought provoking, others border on the obscene. This is by no means

a "Picture-a-Day" website, but why should I not share? What, do I have AIDs?

(No.)

Humans: I, as a being that can't exactly be described as "human" in

the common sense of the word, (as i would think you are, as well), have a rather

interesting perspective on the behavior of the human race. Why humans

do the things they do is of particular intrigue to me. This can range

anywhere from how and why people express racism, to stress mismanagement,

to the annoying and stupid shit that people do to why Robby should

not be left in the same room as a buffet table (short answer? Splinters).

Movies: obviously, the fact that I only sleep for about 3 to 4 hours a

night means that I have a lot of time to watch movies, which I know a

bit about. It can range anywhere from a different angle of analysis to

a simple review. though there will be the occasional exception, I'd

probably want to keep it to older movies, because who needs another

opinion on Iron Man 2 ? Obviously, most of my time spent on this topic

will focus primarily on the Twilight series, and how awesome Robert

Pattinson's abs are.

Television: I definitely watch a fair amount of telly. If only I wasn't in

a chemically induced coma during that whole Conan thing... 

One other thing that really piques my interest is those crappy local 

commercials that appear on regional sports networks and late at night.

Oh man, i could write a whole dissertation on Brooklyn Locks and 

Hardware if I wasn't so sure that it was a mafia front.

Other: Well, there's plenty of that I can touch on: history, culture,

science, zoology, fashion, food, liquor, espionage, piracy and

elements that makes this page different is the style in which it is

presented. I don't wanna sound like a dick and say "I'm an excellent

writer!", so I'll sound more like Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man when I

say "I'm am excellent writer". 

Also, assuming they haven't already broken all ties with me due to the shame that I'm liable to bring upon them, I hope to have what's left of my friends submit guest articles, which I will proceed to edit to the point that they all look outright racist and homophobic.

Anyways, there goes my first post. Fuck me, that was way harder than i thought.